Christmases When I Was Home
by RodaRolla2
Summary: While pretending to be William Brandt, Hawkeye is on a mission with IMF on Christmas Eve and can't be home for Christmas with the Avengers. While his IMF team decorates and gets into the holiday spirit, Hawkeye thinks about his past Christmases with the Avengers. Relationships: Benji/Jane, Bruce/Betty, Tony/Pepper, Thor/Jane, and Ethan/William if you wish. Merry Christmas everyone!


Merry Christmas Everyone! Consider this a Christmas gift from Rodarolla2! Fluff and Christmas feels. I hope you all have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

"May peace be your gift this Christmas and the blessing of the Almighty be with you and the world to help us all make this world a better place. To make it a Christmas Day everyday of the year." – Kurt Avish

_Please take down the mistletoe  
'Cause I don't wanna think about that right now  
'Cause everything I want is miles away  
In a snow covered New York_

I sighed as I watched Ethan and Jane put up some Christmas decorations. I frowned as they smiled and laughed. I really wished I was back in New York right now. It was Christmas Eve and I was hundreds of miles away from my dysfunctional family in some safe house in the middle of nowhere.

"Brandt, what's wrong?" Benji asked as he sat down beside me. I felt Jane and Ethan come up behind me, but I didn't let them know that I knew they were there.

"Just miss being home for Christmas," I sighed.

"I know what you mean," Benji smiled. "I miss my little sisters and how excited they would get on Christmas morning, I miss the foods that my parents would make every year without fail. It's going to be strange, not being at home, but we'll make it." I felt Jane put something on my head and I smiled softly. It was just like how Natasha would try to sneak up on me and put the most ridiculous elf hat on me and then put a Santa hat on herself. We'd start 'spreading holiday cheer' in form of a prank and then she'd make hot chocolate and I'd make cookies and we'd sit by the fire with Bruce, Tony, Steve, and Thor while watching A Christmas Carol.

"What do you miss about not being home for Christmas, Ethan, Jane?" I asked as I turned to grin at the two spies.

"My parents, me, and my brother used to go sledding, snowboarding, and skiing on Christmas Day with our cousins, aunts, and uncles. After that, we'd go to my grandparents' house and have a big dinner. Then we'd play around until we had to go to bed." Jane smiled as she sat down beside Benji and Ethan beside me.

"I miss everything. What about you Brandt?" Ethan said as he smiled softly and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I thought about every Christmas with the Avengers and the few before that with SHIELD.

"Natasha would dress me up as an elf while she was wearing this Santa Claus dress , we'd go around pranking everyone, after that, she'd make hot chocolate, I'd bake cookies, and we'd watch A Christmas Carol with some friends." I sighed with a smile on my face.

_Steve's in the living room worrying about me  
Seasons greetings hope you're doing well  
I'm doing alright if Tony's wondering  
Lately I can never tell  
I know there shouldn't be a lonely time  
But there was Christmases when I was home_

"You know, I bet Steve is worrying about me, since I'm not there for Christmas." I said. "Tony might even be wondering about me."

"They might be." Jane said smiling at the Santa hat that I knew was on my head, giving me a cuter look. Apparently, I look like an adorable puppy, according to Benji and Jane, and apparently they got that terminology from Ethan. _Ethan Hunt_. Tony and Natasha would get a kick out of that, Bruce would just smile into his cup of tea and laugh quietly, Steve wouldn't be able hide his childish grin because he'd see me as an adorable puppy, and Thor, poor naive Thor, would say that I wasn't a puppy.

_I've been doing fine without them, really  
Up until Christmas Eve  
And everyone's there except me, sadly  
Seems like everyone here is in the Christmas spirit  
But for me it's just a sad time  
'Cause there were Christmases when I was home_

I leaned into Ethan's shoulder as Benji and Jane finished the tree. They were so cheerful, but I couldn't be cheerful, knowing that my family was so far away and I wouldn't be able to see them for weeks after New Year's Day.

"Hey, Brandt, it's alright. We'll be home before you know it." Ethan smiled. I just frowned.

_Bet Tony got Pepper another dress  
Did Betty and Jane come again?  
When Thor was putting up the lights this year  
Did he notice one less pair of hands?_

I imagined Tony as Pepper opened up one of her gifts to find a very expensive dress. I imagined Bruce's face of pure joy as Betty walked through the door of the lab. I imagined Thor's ecstatic face as Jane walked through the door of the living room. I remembered how Thor and I would always put up the lights while Steve would set up the tree, Bruce and Tony would put up the rest of the decorations, Natasha would decorate the tree with the super soldier and Pepper after he set it up, and then Jane and Betty would catch Thor and Bruce, respectively, underneath the mistletoe.

_I know there shouldn't be a lonely time  
But there were Christmases when the Avengers didn't  
Wonder how I am tonight  
'Cause there were Christmases when I was home  
I was home_

I drifted off to sleep. I dreamed of a Christmas with the Avengers and the trouble Natasha and I would cause to lighten the already light mood. I didn't hear the 'Merry Christmas, Will' from Ethan or see the happy looks from Benji and Jane or see the smile on Ethan's face as I fell asleep.


End file.
